This girl is more easily done than said...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
