Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
