So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just invented taco cereal.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
