She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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