im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
