He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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