I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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