omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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