It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
