Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
