idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
