I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
