It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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