I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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