Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
