New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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