every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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