Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he shaved USA in his pubs
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
