Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
