remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
