Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
