Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
