yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize