Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
