This gyro tastes like lonliness
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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