He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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