NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
