Who did Billy Mays play for?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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