I skipped work to stalk him.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
