is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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