last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
