hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
