It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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