I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
