you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
