dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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