And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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