There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
