i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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