What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
is wine microwaveable?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
