escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
