No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
sex in a hospital.. check
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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