Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
