sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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