i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
