I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
