Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Randomize
