this beer tastes like vomit already
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Found your dick twin last night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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