you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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