hotel room ftw
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
