It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
