mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
