Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
