Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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