At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I will die if light touches me.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize