yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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