FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
