we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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