You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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