I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
