Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
