I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
