booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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